Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Losing a friend (or even a best friend or a lover)

Hi guys. Today I'm gonna do a fun advice post :)

That's kinda sarcastic (altho I'm usually not a super sarcastic person, I am right now) because the topic I am about to talk about is actually not funny at all :/ Altho I'll try to make it interesting or even relatable (idek) because a lot of people, especially teens, go through this and I'm in the mood to talk about it sooo.

Losing a friend is almost as bad, if not just as bad, as breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, in my opinion. Sure, I've probably never experienced real heartbreak, but I feel like what I went through and am still dwelling over recently with a friend is just as bad because essentially it is still the same thing happening. My "heartbreak" with my best friend (whose name I won't mention) was probably just as hard because of how much time I invested in him. Think about all the time, thought and secrets spent (jesus christ). I mean, having friends generally means sharing a part of ourselves, almost giving up a part of ourselves for that person !!! It hurts because we held a special place for that person in our hearts and because of what we invested: we thought about them while we exercise on the elliptical at the gym and we think about what we'll do with them tomorrow as we fall slowly to sleep. He was a channel in which I expressed myself which I don't have any more--of course there will be a noticeable gap. And I'll tell you now: there is no cure but the healing of time. In a year, I guarantee you will not be putting nearly as much thought into what went wrong and what you could've done or if you were too harsh. For heartbreak of any kind. But if that person doesn't turn out to be the person you thought they were, it's kinda just bad luck, and you have to appreciate the time you had--don't regret any of it--and move on.

You can't do anything about it. You can't try to change them or change yourself so drastically. Lovers always think they can change each other and it never ends up well. If your friend does something that you deem disruptive, disrespectful or just terrible, it's not fair to either of you to continue. I believe of course there is room for second chances, depending how bad what they did is in your mind. And to some extent, you have to respect the friendship you had and say "is this dispute really worth it?" but if you're having to question that anyway, then what do you think?... But you've also got to live for yourself and not for your friendship unless it is so worth it.

It is getting better now, but after I first decided to end this friendship (I guess) I was having major issues believing in my decision. I kept doubting what I'd done and still I am not positive it was the right decision. I keep wondering if I'm a horrible person or if I broke it off for the wrong reasons. I think in most cases, you'll know if it was right somehow. I think I was worrying for the most part because he was literally one of my few friends and all the rest of my friends were either a major part of only his friend group (which I obviously used to be a part of) or in a different country (lol). So by making the major decision to cut out that friendship I was literally cutting out all my other cords, if you will (??). Luckily, the other guys were all kind of unaware of our "breakup" (what do I even call this!? fall out, i think) and weren't as mean to immediately give me the cold shoulder too, altho I have barely talked to them since, we're just not as close as we are. And anyway, it's probably a bit awkward anyway for them. But I'm rambling about this! Sorry, back on track...

Also what made it hard was the fact that he was kind to me at first. And I had never done so much as get angry at him for swatting a fly. And it seemed like we had been friends forever, and that just a few weeks before, he was reassuring me that I was his best friend.

After what happened, our whole friendship and all our moments kept flashing back at me. I was constantly remembering things! Literally, we shared so many special moments but you have to remember why the fall out happened. For me, I think my friendship was bound to end. We were growing apart. I found myself not really wanting to hang out or questioning myself why I was actually his friend when he said or did certain things. Not in a horrible way, I hope, but because we were just so different. I remember thinking how similar we are and how lucky I am to have found him! Boy, have things changed.

Also people break up from friendships because they have to focus their attention on different things. For instance, school or working on themselves or whatever. Pampering yourself. Take your falling out as the best time yet to give yourself attention & love & learn about yourself!

But think about it: friends do come and go. Personally, I'm not used to it, but I know that for sure people either just drift apart or (like in my case) something happens that makes it stop. For good...

Please remember that whatever happens, happens for a reason. Have faith in yourself. Obviously if things don't work out, and this goes for any relationships, then it's just not meant to be. So relax.

I hope this helped. If it did, let me know. Are there any topics you want me to discuss? I'm thinking about making this a more regular thing. Could be fun.

xx May

Thursday, December 10, 2015


1. baby girl sweatshirt omgwhkkkkkk

2. the future is female navy sweatshirt

3. A Giant Teddy. Oh yeah. these are like literally so expensive idk how i'm gonna afford it


5. this boy to keep forever

sorry that i'm using photos from the internet that are not mine btw, like does anyone care or am i ok

xx May

Thursday, December 3, 2015

                              URBAN OUT I'M CRYING


family members like plz be reading this cuzzzzz christmas is coming up??? jkjkjk

ok so urban outfitters is kinda my holy grail, like, damn soo here are a few things i am desperate for

also this is KiNdA for future reference?? like when i'm old and rich i will look back at this post and remember to buy this stuff for my past 15 yr old self

1.) ohHhH_oH mannnnnn this right here is the cute red capventure bowl

love this bowl. i am rly into food accessories atm. i think itz bc i am try to eat balanced-ly now jbh..

2.) this fun quirky h20 water bottle

"hello h20" lol quirky


fu--- oh wait i don't swear

4.) i'm really into tape. (it's CREATIVE!)

5.) speckle speckle bowl

could by this for my mama jbh cuz I also want it


7.) most days i wish i was a cat. ok

if only it didn't have the made in china stamp. i'm classy hunny~ u think "made in china"z my moto!?!?

8.) vegan stuffs pretty exciting

ok all for now! but i probs will be making an updated post soooo stay tuned babes

stay cute!
xx May

Sunday, October 11, 2015


OMG!!! I have a lush box!!!

Recently I have been so into lush. I used to not like Lush that much back this time last year, but I have really learnt to appreciated it, because I started buying things that they do well, specialize at and are well known for! I've bought quite a few things from there this past year actually, mostly face masks and skin stuff. I mostly love it for the smells (which I honestly didn't used to like ahah) and the packaging and the imperfect yet perfect products they make... they're all so individualistic. I also love that Lush doesn't test on animals and is vegan and is generally very natural. Lit 10/10

This one I got for my birthday! My wonderful sister, Yoli, bought it for me!!! It's full of beautiful bath bombs :P

So the first bath bomb is this one!!!

Swirly sun! That's what I would call it! Or you could see it as halloweeny like a pumpkin or summin. But the actual name is Brightside and it's a bubble bar (so you run it under your tap). This is actually my first time ever using bath products from lush so I'm kinda excited about it.
"Brighten your bath & mood"

Ok this one has a great name, perfect I think. "Granny Takes A Dip." I mean wow, what a seller! Also loving the colours omg hehe 
And this one is a bath bomb!
"Blissfully Bright Bathing"
^^ allitteration tho,,,

This one is Golden Slumber, another bath bomb! And it says "Liquid Gold"and I usually bathe in million dollar bills so like this is me


THE LAST ONE... drum roll please...
"The Comforter" well it gosh darn looks like one, I'll tell you that for free
Also, "big blackcurrant bubbles" as the description

OKAY that's it! I hope this gave you some inspiration :)

xx Maya


Hiiii... My name is Maya and this is now my new baking & cooking blog!!! I'm so excited to start using it :) I'll be for the most part posting about food that I try or make and recipes (although I may post a bit about makeup if I'm interested in it at the time.. I go in phases haha)  I love cooking so this is mostly just for fun, but I'm hoping that eventually people who read blog will try out recipes that I put on here.

Okay, so you're probably wondering "Why the username!?" Well, it's mostly because I believe I'm a ghost. But I believe I'm a ghost in the most ridiculous way possible, so you're okay... don't exit out the window now...
Recently I've just been kinda obsessed with ghosts anyway. I think they're so cool. I'm the phantom foodie.
I love food honestly, but I have kinda a love/hate relationship with food. After thinking for a while, I do now consider myself a foodie generally though, because I am always obsessing over food in some way. Whether or not that's healthy, uh, well...

 I do know a lot about health though! I may occasionally do some posts about, for example, trans fats or gluten or something. I have always been very interested in health since I was about 12 and have been learning ever since. With so much development in knowledge about food, I am very interested in veganism at the moment and I'm starting to think it may be the healthiest way to live. I am vegetarian at the moment and have been since the end of February/March. I am so glad I transitioned and have had no regrets, really. Not even when I couldn't eat the paella in Spain. I wasn't even that sad about it and that was back in March. Now, I don't think I would even care! I have not noticed a negative health affect being vegetarian either, as I expected.. I really recommend being vegetarian at least, or healthier, probably vegan (but you must research that A LOT beforehand).

I think I'll just list some facts about me :)

1.) I'm 15 (oops I was about to write 14 haha)
2.) My birthday is September 13th, 2000
3.) My favorite colour is probably pink at the moment but it changes generally & also depending on the season
4.) I have a youtube channel :)
5.) I have had so many blogs in the past!!! but hopefully I'll just stick to this one for now hehe :P
6.) I love Fetty Wap
7.) I have 1 dog, 2 cats & 2 kittens
9.) I'm really into Grammar lol
10.) I have an LA dream
11.) I think Obama is a really nice guy
12.) Would vote for Bernie Sanders in the next election, sadly Obama has to go :(
13.) I'm a feminist
14.) Half American, Half British *u are wondering what my accent is hehehe*
15.) I wayyyy prefer galaxy over dairy milk, ew
16.) I love film, poetry, writing, singing, cooking (obvi), those are just a few
17.) I started making videos when I was nine
18.) I started having a blog when I was 12 I think?
19.) I like science (ASAP SCIENCE ON YOUTUBE OMG)
20.) I think I want to go to UCLA
21.) I love cooking... but I love betty crocker mixes more. RIP BETTY CROCKER BC IT'S HARD TO GET IT IN ENGLAND :((((((
22.) I'm not too afraid of heights... infact, I kinda like heights. I like the thrill!
23.) I've never properly read Harry Potter
24.) I am 1/4 African! My granny is from Zambia.
25.) Favoruite food is probably nutella or just chocolate generally. I also really love kiwis, that's probs my favorite food YUUMMMMM

Oooh and a pic of me:

So I hope you're as excited as I am about a brownie recipe or something in the future, hehehe.

xx May